Somebody don’t know they boo. (via Rebloggy)
Stereotypical wedding planning goes as follows: bride makes ALL THE DECISIONS, groom shows up. Sounds like a recipe for stress, if you ask me. But what if there was a way to share the burden?
Let’s play a quick game of Know Ya Boo, shall we? What are ya boo’s interests, talents, and/or hobbies?
Excellent. Next step: leverage them!
Bees, don’t lie – the areas of wedding planning that you’ve been the most invested in are the areas that overlap with your own interests. Fashionista? Of course, dress shopping is the most important thing. Foodie? The catering search and menu selection are probably of paramount importance. Tech whiz? You’ve likely created a detailed Excel spreadsheet or Access database that would make the most organized among us weep with envy.
So why can’t your groom do the same? Maybe he’s a music lover – have him do the legwork on researching bands or DJs. If he’s into graphic design, maybe he’ll create the perfect save-the-dates or invitations, or he can design a motif you can incorporate into your decor. Play to his strengths just as you play to yours.
Sometimes all you need to do is ask him what he thinks. You’ll be surprised at what he’s invested in; for instance, I was floored when Stallion, king of shorts and T-shirts, was adamant about wearing a tuxedo for the wedding. On that note, when he does have an opinion, consider it seriously – if you’re rolling your eyes or nixing all his suggestions, eventually, he’s going to stop contributing, and where does that leave you? With a one way ticket to Stress City.
Overlapping interests? Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship – TEAMWORK! Stallion and I were equally invested in planning the perfect honeymoon, so that was a joint effort on our part.
And then there are the things that no one cares about. That’s what your vendors are for. Or, for things that you can’t outsource, refer to my above point about marriage as a partnership. Try playing to each other’s strengths here. Maybe he has the handwriting of an angel, so have him do the place cards, envelope addressing, and anything else that requires putting pen to paper. If you’re a pit bull in the boardroom, be responsible for negotiating with your vendors. These may not be the fun parts of wedding planning, but somebody’s got to do them.
Failing all that, there’s always the tried and true conflict resolution method of the coin flip.
My last suggestion: remember everything you guys used to do and talk about before you got engaged? It’s okay to continue doing/talking about them. In fact, I’d venture to say that even the most wedding-obsessed among us could use a break from all the planning talk. Whether you restrict wedding talk to once a day or once a week, give each other a break. Wouldn’t you get a little frustrated if all your groom wanted to talk about was one subject?
People say that this day is all about the bride, right? But without the groom, there would be no wedding to plan in the first place. So, Bees, let’s give our boos some credit and let them have their say here.
(Disclosure: there is a chance that you give your groom every opportunity to get involved and he makes it abundantly clear that he couldn’t be less interested. If so, let it go. Run with it. You do you. No shame.)
Did your grooms get involved in wedding planning? How did they do?